Well yes, it does sound super cheesy, but ‘it is what it is’.
The love between man and woman is a subject about which there are countless books, songs, movies and stories written on! And yet we have not figured out how to see ‘through’ this love to this present day.
Love is so complex, so special, so unique.
We long for this love story that takes your breath away. This love that gives you wings, inspires you and can take you to another level. This one special relationship that stands out from all others. The love that holds together in good and bad times. A love where you can be genuine and free. A love that forgives that is faithful and without condition.
You have to look closely to actually find such love relationships. We want to be loved right now, we do not want to be alone or lonely, so often we give ourselves away to a cheap imitation of love.
Unhealthy, manipulative, controlling relationships are entered into, great compromises take place, dreams are abandoned and values are thrown overboard.
We all do have an idea of love, our own definition.
Our definition and ideas come from our own experiences, they depend on the kind of family we grew up in, what our parents taught us, what opinions we have inherited from other people and what our own opinions are.
Are your parents still happily married today, and show you that there is this love that holds together?
Are your parents separated and you can still remember the moment when your family broke apart, as well as your heart?
Have you been lied to and betrayed in relationships?
And did you swear to yourself that you would never want to feel your own heart and "this love" again?
Do you long so for this love, so that you remove all limits for yourself to get this love?
All of those things have a big impact on the perspective of how you think about love and if you believe in love or not.
Which experiences, opinions, values have built your definition of love?
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Expectations
It is good to have expectations.
Many women want a "real" man, but aren’t even "real" women. Or the other way around: men want a virtuous woman, but surround themselves with women who are anything but virtuous or not even treat women very virtuously.
How many times have we had expectations towards others that we can’t even meet ourselves? I do want to meet the expectations I put on my future husband myself. And yes, I am failing again and again, but my will and desire is to live today as if I would be with a partner! I do decide daily to be faithful to my future husband already today!
I used to think- one day this handsome and strong man comes to my rescue. No man can save me or rescue me. No man must save me. One day, I can’t say exactly when it actually was, I realized that I have to start NOW to work on myself, me as a woman. Work on my character, behavior, words, life, relationships, and the issues of my past.
For why would I want a "Prince", a heroic man to take me if I still live in the middle of chaos? Why should he? Is this attractive to a man? To be completely broken and confused, and not knowing who I am? How can I ask for a man with a certain character and lifestyle, but I myself do not even live it?!
Why should I get involved with a man who can’t keep his eyes off of any women. One who flirts, goes out or gets intimate with every women he gets the chance with?
Why should a man find a woman attractive that throws herself at every man, hungry for love and approval?
Both might think in their heart, I'll do it only until I meet THE one.
The right ONE, the true ‘love’. But from my perspective, I would not place either the woman or the man into the category of "the right person".
I keep telling myself, if a man does not have himself under control before a relationship, why would he all of a suddenly in a relationship, with me on his side, be different?
For a long time I had a twisted view of love.
It is still a process, but it is never too late to start afresh. I am very grateful to God that nothing is too hard for him, and it is never too late. He does show what it means to love again, just as He loves us. And he wants to show you, if you want to see! He shows us his concept of love.
He has blessed me with parents who, since I can remember, have showed me what it means to love one another. I am grateful to have friends who have given themselves a promise to love each other until death does part them. I am grateful for these models around me in my life. I see their challenges, but I also see their successes!
And I see and know that if one builds his love story in God, the one who is the founder and creator of love and people, nothing is impossible.
Do you want to put your life in terms of love and relationship on a new foundation?
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